Shells from a Beach

Stories of life, love, and learning

Welcome!

This blog was sparked in text conversations with a friend who told me I write “beautifully” amidst discussions that helped me reclaim myself. Then, it was like dominoes: multiple friends stopped me to say that my writing was beautiful. I thought “I’m not a writer, I’m a mathematician…” but, in truth, I write a lot. I type my notes for classes to ensure that the conceptual understanding is clear, I journal things, I take forever writing emails because my words mean something to me.

Their words grabbed me. I feel vulnerable sharing my writing, but I want to share the work I’ve done in the hope that others can benefit from it. I hope you enjoy my words. I hope you find ways to reclaim yourself, love yourself, and spark the light inside you.

Love, -S.

Start from the beginning: Hello Internet

Or, read the latest posts:

  • Overthinking

    This post is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/Overthinking-e2ok6oo My brain doesn’t stop. It is a never-ending stream of thoughts, processing and analyzing everything. I spend no less than 20 minutes on a single email. If I’m in a relationship, I spend a lot of time thinking about my words when I’m communicating. Honestly,

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  • Holding Space

    This post is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/Holding-Space-e2ko12u Something I’ve worked to do for my students and now, my child, is holding space. I seek to cultivate safety in a nonjudgemental space that provides comfort to them. A key component of holding space is eliminating my own interest, bias, and desires from the

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  • Infertility

    This post is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/Infertility-e2ko0i8 This is a post I’ve been avoiding, but it’s time to write it. Approximately 10% of the people reproductive age face infertility, and I am in that 10%. It’s a rather unfortunate medical issue that only seems to get worse the more invested you become.

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  • Struggle Bus

    This post is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/Struggle-Bus-e2ko05i I hate dating. I don’t hate anything, but I hate dating. I go through ups and downs with it. I close all my apps and stop talking to people for a while – quite regularly. I then come back, somewhat more haphazardly, and go through

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  • Toxicity

    This post is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/Toxicity-e2knvnr I managed to let that “breadcrumber” go, just like I left my marriages and cut off communication with my father. This post is about that journey. How do we acknowledge the pain, process it, and move on? I can tell you how I moved on,

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  • Manipulation

    This post is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/Manipulation-e2knvdc I’ve seen memes that describe manipulation as being what happens when words don’t align with actions. I’ve recently cut someone off for their manipulation, so I guess it’s time to write about this. As someone with anxious attachment, I think it’s easy for me to

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  • I Choose Me

    This post is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/I-Choose-Me-e2knv5i When I got married the second time, I chose the song “I Choose You” by Sara Bareilles to walk down the aisle. Looking back, I chose the song because I was choosing to marry someone based on reasons that weren’t about me. I was choosing

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  • Deserving Love

    This post is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/Deserving-Love-e2knujs Real love is not about “deserving” it. One of the biggest holes I had to fill was the seeking of love that I deserved, externally. Depression was an amplifier of these feelings, this hole. I spent all my efforts seeking that love. I have done

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  • TMS

    This post is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/TMS-e2knu5o TMS saved my brain. TMS stands for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. I’ve told so many people about it because I feel like it saved me from my darkness. I feel more like a normal person than I ever knew was possible. It’s a treatment option for

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  • Depression

    This is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/Depression-e2knte0 Let’s talk about it. I am not myself when I’m depressed. I don’t think any one of us feels “ourselves” when we’re depressed. If anything, I feel like the worst version of myself. That’s why it’s so dark. That’s why it holds us back. If all

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