Shells from a Beach

Stories of life, love, and learning

Welcome!

This blog was sparked in text conversations with a friend who told me I write “beautifully” amidst discussions that helped me reclaim myself. Then, it was like dominoes: multiple friends stopped me to say that my writing was beautiful. I thought “I’m not a writer, I’m a mathematician…” but, in truth, I write a lot. I type my notes for classes to ensure that the conceptual understanding is clear, I journal things, I take forever writing emails because my words mean something to me.

Their words grabbed me. I feel vulnerable sharing my writing, but I want to share the work I’ve done in the hope that others can benefit from it. I hope you enjoy my words. I hope you find ways to reclaim yourself, love yourself, and spark the light inside you.

Love, -S.

Start from the beginning: Hello Internet

Or, read the latest posts:

  • Growth

    Growth is hard. It hurts. You may find yourself feeling like “when does it end?” It doesn’t. I actively remind myself, almost every day, that growth isn’t a destination – it’s a lifetime commitment. Like real love, it takes a choice every day to commit to our own growth. As we go through life we

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  • Strength

    True strength is shown in kindness. Finding love even in pain. I’m often drawn to people in pain. I think that the hardships we face in life have a tendency to either soften or harden us. I try to help soften, but it is always up to the person in pain. I’m not vengeful. I

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  • Pretty Girl Curse

    I can’t write this post without thinking of Ani DiFranco’s song “Not a Pretty Girl.” Only, I always had a part of me that wanted to be rescued. I am a “pretty girl.” Not stereotypical pretty, maybe “natural pretty” or something like it. Everyone tells me I’m pretty. I don’t wear makeup. I don’t get

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  • I Can’t Make You Love Me

    The song by Bonnie Raitt is my song, at least when it comes to my love life. I choreographed a trapeze solo to that song, but performed it to another song. I chose that song because I didn’t feel loved by the man I was with at the time. I felt that song, but when

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  • Relationship Fears

    I used to do this thing… where anytime I liked a guy I self-sabotaged the relationship potential. As I write this, I’m still reeling from a recent dating experience. This is the second of the two mentioned in my last post… After over 18 months of being single, I found the first guy I really

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  • First glance

    I never believed in love at first sight. I wished for the kind of love in Disney movies, but I honestly didn’t believe it existed. None of my relationships mirrored anything like a Disney movie. I was always drawn to relationships with people who didn’t see me, value me, or love me – for ME

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  • Help!

    I had a realization in therapy today that knocked me on my ass. I’ve been in therapy since age 9, so I’ve talked about a lot of my stuff. My therapist always talks about “peeling the onion” because trauma isn’t like pieces of chocolate in a tin, it’s an onion of layers. Only after the

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  • Days of the Doll

    I have a metaphor for myself that I’ve used a lot. It really got to me recently, so I thought it would be a good time to write about it. It’s an extension of the internalizer reality. Internalizers apparently create fantasies in which they will be loved and cared for in the way they want…

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  • Externalizer

    I like to write about all the options, so let’s talk about externalizing. I want to imagine what it would be like to be an externalizer. I’m too much of a “good girl,” I am an internalizer. When things get heavy, I try to get stronger. Externalizers are more likely to throw their load at

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  • Internalizer

    I’m an internalizer. Whenever there’s a problem, I think it’s my fault. I spend countless mental hours processing what I could do to improve. I’m called a perfectionist for it, but really – I think it’s because I’m an internalizer. There’s some innate part of my being that feels like “if only” I could just

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