This post is also available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/Peace-e2djrl8

As a follow up to my last post, I will dive into a small deconstruction of my beliefs in relation to peace. I do not subscribe to a specific religion, but that does not mean that I am not seeking the same things as others that do. The greatest thing people seem to seek in religion is a form of peace. Whether that peace is in the community, the guidance, or the faith – it’s peace. Through all the things that I’ve spoken of, a driving force is peace. I seek peace through flow, openness, and love. I seek peace through connection, introspection, and kindness. I seek peace through understanding, acceptance, and faith in people. My beliefs may be different, but my goals are not different.

Buddhism is called a religion on Wikipedia, but it’s also a practice and a philosophy. There are people from many religions that also practice Buddhism. The Buddha was not a god, unlike the sense that so many Western religions believe – the Buddha was a man with values and teachings that brought people peace. The Buddha is a representation of what we seek to achieve in ourselves. If there is any religion that ever spoke to me, it is Buddhism.

I didn’t know who or what His Holiness the Dalai Lama was when I was a child. I articulated my childhood adventures to learn about religion in my last post. Buddhism was completely unknown to me until I was in college. I actually learned more about Taoism before Buddhism, I still keep a small book of Tao on one of my bookshelves. I read Tao Te Ching before Siddhartha, or The Heart of the Buddha’s Teachings, or The Art of Happiness. I found more peace in Taoism, and later Buddhism, than in any search among Western religions. Why?

These teachings are built on an acceptance of our humanity with goals to be our best self. In my experience, Western religions are built upon shame for our humanity and negative reinforcement to become better. I wrote months ago about positive vs. negative reinforcement; we know that positive reinforcement is more successful than negative reinforcement. When we build our peace on acceptance – it’s positive reinforcement in our humanity and our ability to be better. When we try to build peace on shame – it’s negative reinforcement; sure, it works, but it can be more effective.

Negative reinforcement is soul-crushing to me. I can’t breathe under the weight of shame and guilt for who I am. Acceptance is what gives me peace. It’s like cognitive behavioral therapy; when I can reframe the experiences and accept myself where I am, then I can make progress to become better. If I push it down, shove it away, or deny it – it only eats away at me further. That’s suffering, not peace. We do not need to suffer to find that peace, and I could not accept a belief system built on that suffering. I respect those that find peace in that, but I don’t.

I suspect that our growing awareness of our minds is affecting our beliefs. There is a growing divide among this country (US) in terms of religion. There is a growing number of atheists and agnostics; a decreasing number of church-goers, but those that stay seem more vigilant. When there is such a pure goal of peace in religion, it makes me sad and scared to see how divisive the topic of religion has become. I felt the need to plead with my readers not to judge me for my beliefs in my last post because I will not proclaim that you are wrong, I will only state what is right for me. Only you can know what is right for you, and only you can define your peace. Love.

This week I will tell you a story of my first cat, and how I helped her find peace.

I got my first cat when I was 6. We went down to the local shelter, and I looked at all the cats. I picked one who was warm to me, but it turned out she’d been abused by a previous owner. I think there was some hesitation between the staff and my parent, but I got to take her home. She and I were simpatico. We brought her home, and she hid under my parents’ bed for a long time. There were issues, but she was comfortable with me. She peed on things, she was scared easily, she hid a lot of the time. But also: she curled up with me, and only me.

Goldy was a red point siamese cat; she was gorgeous and genuinely sweet once she got comfortable with us. I will never know why she bonded with me so easily, but she slept against me every night. We brought each other peace. I can still feel her vibrating purr, I can hear it, and I can feel her warmth. She wasn’t one of those cats that slept on people’s faces; she curled into my tummy or my back, and on rare nights she’d curl up on top of my head or let me use her as a pillow. My cats always bonded with me like that, but she was the first.

To add some humor to this story, she developed a very odd habit later in her life. When I was about 12 she started to chew on my hair while I was trying to sleep. Nothing like being woken up by the sound of a cat chewing on your head, hahaha. I loved her so much that I grew accustomed to her weirdness. I knew she was chewing on my head because she loved me, I guess. She never hurt me, not intentionally, and I did my best to do the same. When my parents divorced, I had her to bring me peace and comfort. In the chaos that followed, I could hold her, squeeze her, cry into her fur, and just know that she was there for me – through anything. I think we all deserve that, someone who can be there and love us through anything, someone that brings us peace. If it’s not a person, at least it can be a pet. I had Goldy.

Whatever you seek in this life, I hope it brings you peace.

Much love, hugs, and all the peace I can offer, -S.