I’m always happier when I’m learning something new. Our brains do not do well in stagnation. We may find ourselves in a rut without realizing it, unhappy and dissatisfied with life. Something as simple as learning a new skill can change our brains. New experiences or changes to our routines can be a struggle, but also open our minds and break the stagnation. I feel like the “what” is different for everyone, but the “how” is the same.

Learning doesn’t need to be academic in nature. Sure, you can take a course in something to learn, but you can also read a book, follow a podcast, or watch videos online. You can do something active that is new to you. Some couples do ballroom dance to bond and learn something new. Some people pick up knitting and go to a knitting circle to learn from each other. Some people go to a gaming store during events to engage in a new hobby.

Learning is universal. It isn’t just with your mind. Engaging in something new changes the brain, though. The reason learning is so important to our brains and our happiness is because it remaps neurons. Each time we change the mapping of our brains, things are refreshed. Synapses fire better. Our responses shift and how we think is affected. If you feel like you’ve gotten into a rut; a constant routine that puts you on autopilot: try something new.

For me, this changes all the time. Sometimes I listen to new music. Sometimes I read books, and those can be fiction or self-help focused. Sometimes I learn something in a new discipline. Sometimes I take a new fitness class. Sometimes I simply change my commute. I used to reorganize my office every year – it “refreshed” my experience. I eventually ran out of options and got stuck in a rut. It’s currently time for me to change it up at work, again.

My story this week is about my latest hobby: Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

I’ve felt really stagnant in recent years. I had a dramatic change to my life 2.5 years ago, and in the 2.5+ years prior. So, after all the fallout of those changes, things got stagnant in a new way. I kept fighting to find happiness in places all over. Friendships, music, books, dance… but I hit a “wall” where nothing seemed to be helping. I felt the need for a big shift in my life, but I didn’t know how or where to make it.

Thanks to a conversation with a guy I dated, I learned about BJJ. When he was explaining it to me, I felt “I need this in my life” spoken deep in my chest. I needed to roll on a mat and learn how to use my strength and dexterity to defend myself. I needed to wrestle with other humans to formalize the conflicts inside me. I’m somewhat literal about things. When there is a conflict in my mind, I feel a need for physical conflict.

I’m not a violent person. The only fight I was ever involved in was the story I told about two girls strangling me with jump ropes in 6th grade. However, after partners cheating on me and general lies and “situationship” behaviors, I have had a lot of built up anger that I had no way to release. When we cannot release our anger, it may turn inward and cause depression. So, when I first started BJJ, it gave me an elation I had not felt in a long time. I was able to release that anger in a safe, consensual environment. I felt more free and happy from that than I had in the years prior.

Learn something new, try something new, you never know what might set you free.

Love, -S.