This post is available as a podcast here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/s-p01/episodes/Overstimulated-e28nv7l

I’m consistently frustrated by my dependence on my phone and the internet. Aren’t we all? Everyone I talk to seems to feel this. We want to look at our phones less, but we just keep doing it. Technology moves much faster than evolution. These dopamine-driven impulses are too recent for us to adapt to them and seek the more long-lasting dopamine sources. Our bodies are confused and stimulated in ways that they haven’t had time to adapt to. It’s a constant distraction woven into something that became a necessary part of societal interactions. I don’t know about you, but I feel chronically overstimulated.

Part of the overstimulation is the devices, the internet, and our distanced connections to each other. I think it’s part of the reason I get tired, lonely, and apathetic. The screens cause eye strain which makes me tired. Social media and texting replaces a lot of connection that I need in person. The distance and lack of connection makes me feel apathetic sometimes. However, there’s more than that. There’s the universal languishing from these feelings perpetuated in all of us. Most people I talk to about these feelings seem to have them stronger than I do, not less. There’s a weight in this world that has not been lightened the past three years.

Empath overstimulation is showing up in these feelings. I feel the weight people are carrying and it is wearing on all of us. All my friends who identify as empaths are heavier than ever. We feel the weights of everyone we interact with, and if they’re like me – it’s hard to separate someone else’s weight from my own. I’m an ambivert, so I like my alone time, but when I’m around people I can seem like an extrovert – it’s just a limited period of extrovert. I’m enjoying one-on-one time with friends, but I feel a lot more weight from these interactions than I used to. I still get a high from sharing in successes and love for each other, but I also feel fatigued from the social exertion in a way I never used to.

Autistic overstimulation used to only bug me at parties, or other events with a lot of people. Now, I seem to have started getting autistic overstimulation in the most mundane environments. Going grocery shopping, meeting with a good friend, driving, etc. It’s as though all my senses are hyper sensitive and I find myself regularly trying to bring myself back from the kinds of anxiety and shutdown that can occur in overstimulation. In short: the world is exhausting and exhausted.

How do we help? How do we reset/refresh? As with anything, I think awareness is the first step toward a solution. We are all tired. We are all in this together. If we see each other, and we see that we’re not alone – I think there’s hope to come back from this. However, as I’ve just stated, I feel it every day. I’m not immune, by far. I’m hurting as much as others, so I don’t have any solutions that will protect and serve you through this. I can say that finding the things that ground us will help us make it through. That’s how I’m my most “normal.” I find things that ground me and allow me to make space. Without those things, I think we’re lost.

This week is a story about grounding myself.

The ocean is one of my key places to ground myself. I use a lot of things: dance, baths, massage, mindful rest, etc. they all ground me in different ways. The ocean is “home,” though. Standing in the ocean is the most grounding thing I do for myself, and I try to do it at least twice a year. I go visit the ocean more when things get rough. I went to the ocean when I was facing infertility. I went to the ocean before both of my divorces. I went to the ocean whenever my heart was breaking. How she feels is different each time, it depends on the circumstances.

When I’m with people who also ground me, I do this thing… I throw water into the air. Like a celebratory confetti-throw. The water rains down on me and makes me incredibly happy. My best friend and my mom are the people who have seen me do this the most. I realized that I don’t do it when I go to the ocean with other people. I just do it when I’m with people that make me feel seen. People that make me feel safe. It’s an expression of my childlike love and wonder at the water (I say water because it isn’t just the ocean.) I love water, always have. The ocean is special, but water reminds me of pieces of myself that will always ground me.

May you find your ground, may we all find our ground and grow together to come out of this universal overwhelm.

Love and Hugs, -S.